What the world see in a working mom: A strong and confident lady, wearing freshly pressed clothes, nude makeup, up-do hair, stiletto heels/classy shoes and a bag of files, head held high, shoulders straight, coffee mug in hand and walking with high self-confidence and attitude. The way she walks and talks is full of class and with an air of elegance. The way she composes herself makes any stay-at-home mom jealous and men think that she is a bold and strong woman!
The reality: what no one sees and will never accept! Let us get into the dirty facts now. Bear with me please!
Being a mother and working to meet her family needs, her responsibilities as a mother is always never-ending, in fact it is a cycle of events where one leads to another. The husband usually comes from work and start ordering “Give me this“, “Give me that“, “I had a long day“, “I am having headache“, etc. However, of course the wife who had a great day at workplace because he thinks she is enjoying and having coffee with her colleagues (Most men think that women are only capable of such activities, they can’t visualize their wife attending or leading meetings. Hurts their three-letter friend called E.G.O I guess) thinks she can do everything.
If the husband helps out in one of the household chores, they are tired to bones, even if it is laundry which is done by machine! So what about us? We cook our food, babies food, wash dishes, clean rooms and kitchens, organize stuff, plan appointments, give bath and food to baby and still they ask the most ANNOYING question which qualifies for a kick-on-their-lazy-butt : “What did you do?” or “What were you doing all this time?”. Again E.G.O talking in their head!
So of course we can’t leave the babies alone at home while we go to work and help husband meet our family needs. So sending kids to babysitter becomes the only option unless you can afford a maid or have parents at home. The husband who already feels he is not doing much tries to pick on his wife to make her guilty and mostly useless. They start by saying baby is not in good hands or they might even go the extent of saying that they are allowing us to send kids to babysitter just because the wife wants to work. Well most women wouldn’t go for a job if THEY themselves were in good hands. So why blame them? Man should understand that his wife works for the best of the family and so does he. The aim is the same and a joint one, then why act against it.
When they see that their wife is handling a lot by managing a job; fulfilling hubby’s demands; taking care of kids and running a home; men get very very insecure (because they realize that they aren’t doing as much we are doing, in fact, they don’t even meet one-third of the needs!). So to get rid of that feeling they try to make their wife insecure by insulting her or by saying that she is not a good wife and good mother. I would say to all women out there, If you ever hear that you are not a good wife or mother, give him a tight slap so he wakes up from this deep slumber and be sure he thinks straight before he questions your responsibilities ever again. And the men out there if you ever feel your wife is not doing enough, for one day do ALL the chores she does and I bet you will never question her your whole life, try it today itself! I am serious guys: Step in our shoes once and you will never step in again because it is way beyond what you think!
Now for the concerned relatives with the following statements :
‘Oh poor baby‘
‘Oh the baby is weak and sad‘
‘Oh your hubby lost weight‘
Anyone who starts with this needs another kick from us moms! Really!! Oh how much I would love to really kick them. Kick. Kick. And kick! I am sure all working mothers out there would join me in the kickathon!!
My questions to these relatives are:
1. Will you provide for my baby and baby stuff?
2. Babies come in different shades, colors, behaviors, races, attitudes, looks, so what if my baby is lean, fair, or whatever?
3. Just like we have different moods in a day why can’t a baby look sad or maybe my baby is sad seeing your face?
4. Hubby is weak because of what? Is he breastfeeding? Is he physically doing the chores i do? Was he ever pregnant? Did he ever deliver a baby?
5. Lastly do you see only the baby and the husband, what about me? Am I invisible? You don’t ask why I am lean? You don’t ask why I am sad. You don’t ask how my job is?
Very oddly these very relatives have their own daughter/daughter-in-law who works leaving their kids behind and coming home for weekends only. Some do night shift. Some leave their child with grandparents and work in another state. So my dear relatives why is my baby so special to you? Especially when I am away for 10 hours a day only compared to what your own kids do to their own kids!!!
Facebook, twitter or whatsapp, all your friends want to know ‘oh the poor baby is in daycare‘. Even if the mom brushes it off the first time, the questions are repeated almost daily. Annoying isn’t it? So my dear friends, why don’t you come over and babysit my baby. I am looking for someone more trustworthy like my friends who can home and take care of babies rather than sending them to a babysitter. Pick their pee and poo, spilled food, screaming and screeching? I will pay you handsome money, just do it. And later you will only ask about my well-being and job. Or I can give you a better option. I need money and stuff for my kids can you please send it to my account and address whatever I need??
Has anyone wondered the struggle a new mom or a working mom of newborn and toddlers go through? I mean those moms who are having two kids under two years like me and several others, till the babies learn to effectively communicate life is all about a big puzzle to understand which cry is for what need!!!!
1. Do the so-called well-wishers see the sleepless nights a mom goes through all the while where the hubby snores away or goes into another room and sleep? And yet she wakes up as usual and puts on makeup to hide her sleepy eyes and exhausted face!
2. Does anyone see that she wants to provide her kids with stuff so she doesn’t think twice that they are on single income? Don’t mistake her dress for her lavish life, that dress might be bought years before birth of her kids, her money is all over on her kids!
3. Does anyone see the multi-tasking power of doing laundry, cooking and cleaning at one go? Those legs that walk with confident stride are tired from all this!
4. Does anyone see the way how she juggles between her home, job and run errands in such a way to get more time with kids? Those shoulders that are held high are shoulders full of responsibility as a mom, wife and daughter-in-law. She forgets that she is living and breathing too!
5. Does anyone see the heart full of pain for being alone and having no support from her husband or in-laws to help her get through this testing and tough phase? It is covered up in her clothes that show the outer mask of a content and happy lovely life!
6. Does anyone see her mind that is busy planning, multi-tasking, executing and making marriage-parenthood work which is more or less one-man show now? That brain power is hidden in that luscious lock of hair updo!
7. Does anyone see the hardship of keeping her kids happy, husband happy and satisfied and a neat organized home. Still that hardship is hidden behind that beautiful confident smile which makes anyone envy thinking she is leading a very luxurious life!
And this lovely working mother still holds her head high because she is worth it more than anyone can value. Though she is not aware, SHE IS WORTH IT!!!!
Like and share this if you enjoyed the read and are an amazing mother yourself 🙂