Guest in my home??

PrintGuest in my home?

Clothes on the floor; on the hooks behind the door of every single room and bathroom; on the sofa and dining chair; on the table; on the bed; on the iron stand… Clothes screaming everywhere!!! AND they are all the clothes of MY GUEST

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Legos on the floor, juice stains on the table and sofa, tea dripping from the table to the floor making a wide spill, blocks in the kitchen, toys in the sink, doll’s clothes in the laundry basket, kids shoes of which the pair is missing, board books torn apart! These are MY GUEST’S kids.

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The trash, piles on and on, diapers stink in the diaper pile, laundry shouts at me, dried clothes need to be put in place, shirts need ironing, towels badly need a wash, my chores are too much because of my esteemed GUEST!!!!

Dishes from the sink are ready to fall out, all the four burners of stove are burning, the kitchen floor has pieces of onion, tomato, mint leaves strewn on the floor, the counters need a good clean, fridge needs organizing! I am busy because of my GUEST!

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The floor of the living room is well decorated! Brooms, baby towels, papers, paint, color, pens, food and spills, bags, toys, kids bean bag, cups and saucers, tissues, you name it I will find it for you.. These are MY GUEST’S kids. But it is ok as they are kids.

Bedsheets look at me crying from the vomit of a baby, milk  from the bottle of toddler, from debris that travels from floor via kids feet to the bed, from the food, from leaked diapers. Towels have my eyeliner stains and foundations on it. Curtains smell of the food I cooked for years, they are decorated with spills on it too, my curtains are thick with a thick layer of dust for years. I wish I could do something about them but my GUEST is unbelievable and keeps me busy!!!

Medicine cabinet needs sorting, spices need sorting, papers and documents are flying around including passport, old clothes need to put away, kids accessories needs to be hunted down, store needs to be looked at. Innumerable tasks pending because of the THE GUEST!

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Grocery and immediate shopping list, gift for birthdays, baby showers, colleagues wedding, keeping a long list of reminders and to-do list, being a secretary for kids appointments and mine, all are on snooze because of this GUEST!

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My hair is dry, my face is full of blackheads and uneven skin, my skin is screaming for hydration, my muscles ache for some rest, my eyes beg me to go to sleep, my hands shout at me to stop, my feet is tired and give up, my brain demands a break from multi tasking, my organs ask me to follow proper meal plans but sorry to all of this, I am busy because of MY GUEST!!!

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So, WHO is this guest keeping me busy? Who is it consuming my time? Who is it that can’t see all this? And lend me a hand?

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It is THE HUSBAND.. !!! Tadaaaaaaa

He is really a guest. Like any other guest! But I guess guests helps you better.

He is a very special guest. Place him on the sofa, put his feet up on the table, give him his laptop on his lap, mobile on his right hand, remote control of TV on the left hand, some snacks on the left and right side, with tea or beer on the table, add a cushion for his back and feet and let the guest rest and the host serve for life!!!

I wish you were more of my partner than seeing yourself as a guest at home.

Help me. Not help. Actually learn to Do your share of laundry, your share of cleaning, your share of cooking or doing dishes, your share of sorting, your share of parenting and your share of loving me..

Till you be my partner I will serve you as my guest living in the hope that one day you will wake from this deep slumber of ignorance!

Yours loving wife!

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Unconditional love of an Indian husband (pun intended)

unconditional-loveSo we, Indian women have very loving husbands and their love is so unconditional that it suffocates us. Wait! I am not saying we are ignoring our hubby’s love and sincerity in the efforts to make us feel loved. But let me run you through some of our worrisome rather annoying Indian husband’s dialogues when we want something or try something:

  • When you buy an eye liner they are worried about your eyes losing its beauty 🙂XHV5OO4XdX
  • When you buy a lipstick they worry whether you will eat the lead it and you will die next day 😀lip.jpg
  • When you want to go shopping, they suggest to eat out and actually you are not in the mood to eat.funny-shopping-pictures
  • When you suggest to eat out they take you out shopping and you don’t want to really go shopping because you are way too tired to walk.
  • When you ask them order fast food they worry about all the fat we will take in and the cleanliness of how it is cooked.6ff53ecbbc65a385f2ae6a76b80a0b4f
  • When you ask them to buy ice cream they say you will catch a cold or fever or whatever 😦

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  • When you order spicy food they worry about your digestion process and all of a sudden ulcer props up 😉

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  • When you want coffee they worry about the caffeine intake and will say you will not sleep blah blah

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  • When you take medicines they worry about your liver but not how to take care of you or help you because they know we do alot and they cannot cope that much of work 😀 So we get liver class for free!

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  • When you want new dress they make you look beautiful in old dresses and start looking at your wardrobe when they have no idea what you really have in it :D. And actually our problem is we never have enough lol!My-wardrobe
  • When you style your hair they worry about the vitality and luscious nature of hair 😉

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  • When you nail paint they worry you will eat it and will think you will be in heaven next day. They also worry that nails get brittle and dry 😀

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  • When you wear heels they worry about your feet and back. But they won’t massage your feet or back when your feet is running around the home doing multi-chores 😀

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  • When you want Chinese food they worry about Mono Sodium Glutamate you consume……..Is-MSG-bad-for-you-CRS
  • When you carry the baby they worry whether you hold the neck of the baby right. Oh yeah I am gonna twist it 😀                                                      3cda7885e4ecf31522285da327c081cd
  • When you give milk or water to kids they worry about the temperature, when you know by touch it is OK.tumblr_m96ltrrxNx1r8p2q4.gif
  • When you are washing dishes they worry about the amount of dishwashing liquid we use. Arrgh!Mr_Stingy_Logo.png
  • When you eat chocolate they worry about your teeth (Dental visits are expensive, aren’t they?).FalseTeeth1_large.jpg
  • When you talk on phone they worry about ears and brain (Mobile bill is skyrocketing and their heart is plummeting.)

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  • When you want to go out with friends they worry about your safety.

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  • When you buy any veg item in the market they bring down the whole market for the best one when actually the one in your hand and his hand are the same!!! Uffff

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  • When you put a picture of yourself as profile/ display picture in any app they are worried if you will be in youtube the next day as pornstar. LOL!

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  • When you drape a saree or wear any dress, they scan you up and down because a little skin be it your forearms, they think the whole species of men will be drooling over it.

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So much of concern. Some are OK. But seriously we women are individuals of own opinions and decisions. Before we were handed over to you in the so-called ceremony of marriage, we were taught how to take care of ourselves, how to dress, how to behave, etc.

WE know what is good and bad, what is right and wrong. Don’t interfere in EACH AND EVERY aspect of our life. We need our space and respect of who we are. Don’t try to change us and we won’t try to change you. Live and let live. I find so many men marry a woman thinking “Oh, I will change her”. Trust me, it will end in divorce or she might murder you!! LOL

So please, we really do understand what you really intend on those caring words and its hidden meanings are easy for us woman to interpret it. Better say it in your own mind please (sarcasm fully overloaded)

So the unconditional love fails badly because:

  • They don’t help you with dishes in spite of it piling up. Instead of helping they worry about your hands that you are really least bothered.
  • They don’t help you with just putting clothes in the washing machine.
  • They don’t help you change diapers or kid’s homework and project.
  • They don’t take you out, if they do they won’t let you buy anything, if you do buy, then you will regret it.
  • They don’t play with kids.
  • They don’t help in cooking.
  • They don’t fix anything at home.
  • They don’t help until you tell a gazillionth time to do something.

Do the above, do things physically and follow your promises with actions rather than words. DO IT! and we will love you for THAT unconditional love !!! Hugs 😀 😀

WE ladies love a man in action not a man lazying around 😀

Who all agree with me?

Annoying things you dare say to a SAHM or Working Mom!!

annoy     Most new moms or moms that have babies back-to-back or working moms have a difficult time to manage kids. Yes, any kind of suggestion, advice, parenting tip is all welcome. So when does it become annoying and irritating?

  1. When someone who has kids in school and compares their life with yours when you have two kids under two? They say its manageable for them then why not us?: Well, because my kids are yet to learn our language! When I say to my 1 year old not to cross the road, she won’t cross even if her IQ level is 10000 or even let us assume she must be having “Bodhi-dharman” genes.. Lol. But when you say to your 6 year old the same, what would they do? Well they are out of their diapers, aren’t they?
  2. When someone says be a stay at home mom to a working mother: OK. So your hubby earns a handsome salary and doesn’t need to support anyone except you and your kids and also can afford your shopaholic genes, then yay! You are lucky girl!!! Celebrate yourself. Meanwhile my husband is just starting to settle in his career and take-off. So meanwhile, to help aid his take-off I need to work to keep our life going. And, of course, maybe he is responsible to other’s life too. Or maybe having surprise kids and that too with twins, can pull you off your financial stability. Or having a parent sick can do the same. You need money for all that! Mmmm, I was wondering how about if I share your husband’s credit card??? Lovely isn’t it?                              
  3. When a working mother says to a SAHM you studied to sit at home??: Well, I am not happy that I am a Doctor and stay at home all day stinky, wire-haired and wearing the same pajamas for a week. But I am happy that I am a mother and I am at home. Moroever, when I can be at the comforts of my now-messy home why should I bother to take stress of another set of professional people outside? Additionally, education don’t rust, when my kids grow up and I feel for it, I will get a job. It is actually none of your business as to how, when and where I get the job! But if you are very concerned please help me when I ask rather than turn your face away!
  4. When someone says I do it this way and you should too: OK. You do it your way. It is your family. Your home. Your genes. Do whatever you want. You don’t set the rules in my home. If I cannot go somewhere it is not because I am lazy or ignorant, it is because I have three tiny tots and your kid are above 7 years (and maybe you have only one child)! Well I guess kids of different age behave different right, don’t they? Or is your child still drinking bottled milk and doing his poo in diaper. THEN ok we are in the same boat. If not, stay out of my way. And remember you have no clue as to how my home runs.
  5. Cook this food and you give names of your local food: If I had time to ‘Google’ and cook I wouldn’t bother cooking the same and my traditional food again and again. So, you come up with Arabic, British, Italian, Philippino, Egyptian, Pakistani and Indian names of food. Don’t even bother to say the ingredients because I am not going to buy and stress over it. Or explain me well about it rather than saying “Oh you don’t know this dish? It is very famous!“.
  6. I did this, so you should do this: So you did it. Wow! But really don’t expect me to do it and don’t push me into it until unless I ask you to. You are an experienced mom, but what works for your daughter won’t work for my son. I love your advice and concern but GIVE me the freedom to follow it or not. Don’t just stand right there and make me do it. Rest assured, that will be your last day in my home.
  7. Why don’t you make variety of foods?: Yeah you make delicious food for kids and they gobble it up (or they don’t even look at it). Try that on my son and he might puke. I am not lazy and sitting simply. I am trying to figure it out what is best for my kids. Let me discover their taste buds my way.
  8. Oh what a tragedy your kids are sick!: Nooo! How come that is a tragedy?? Go see the definition in a dictionary! Being sick, like having a runny nose or cough is not a tragedy. It is something really normal. And you might be saying this when your kids are sick at the same time too. Look at your home first and then poke your nose in mine. Actually don’t!
  9. I have so and so experience and psychology degree and so I know my kids well: Listen smart lady, I have seen your kids using your mobile and i-pad and laptop. So didn’t your psychology course teach you the effects of all these on a kid’s brain? Don’t take a class of that on me, do it for yourself please. Or did your common sense box expire? You do not need a master’s to understand a child. You just need some QUALITY time, not the numbers on your marklist! No matter how you prepare for birth nothing is the same as you thought, it is different. It is your unique experience. Same goes for child rearing, you psychology duffer!
  10. I feel sad your kids go to babysitter while you work: Astonishingly this comes from colleagues who send their kids to a day-care too or who have a nanny at home. I mean really get a life please! Don’t you see what you are doing? Are you that stupid? How about I leave my kids in your office or showroom? How about you pay me the money I need for running my life? Before you say this again, please take a moment and ask whether you are in the same place. If yes, please shut up. I will be thankful for it.
  11. Oh your kids are lean and skinny: Yeah mommy! Look at me and hubby we are lean, sexy and hot. So are our kids because they carry our genes. I am so good at heart that I cannot say that you and your spouse are short and stout and so are your kids. Sorry I can’t say it on your face. Yes, so my kids are lean and I am happy because I know they eat and sleep well and have all developmental activities on time. So I don’t need your sympathy. Keep it with you please.

I guess I am done for now. LOL.

If you loved this post please like and share just as a token of appreciation and motivation. Thanks and hugs to all mommas who can relate to at least one annoying aspect in this 🙂 🙂 😀 These are all compiled from different people’s experiences.

I miss my coffee after being a mom!

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COFFEE...

I am sure just the word coffee makes everyone to grab that one cup of aromatic and lovely coffee.. yummmmmm..

Well, we have coffee on several occassions: As a guest we are served with, as a friend when we go out for a treat, as a coworker while discussing a brainstorming solution, as a daughter having a talk with mom, as a wife having a cozy evening with hubbyBUTas a mother the coffee-drinking becomes a very complicated task and we need a strategy to think how to enjoy a cup of coffee. I remember those beautiful days in my university when I used to have a very big cup of strong coffee with milk and a novel of Tess Gerritsen or Dan Brown to read. Coffee is my love. Now I lost all my relation with it completely.

  Coffee before being a mom

  • Make…

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My lighthouse baby!

476540139            Last night for some reason my eldest daughter was crying on top of her voice and demanding that I sleep with her. Usually it is my husband getting her to sleep. She is 2 years old now and I have another baby to tend to. So without any other choice my husband told me to get the eldest to sleep while he will take care of the baby.
So to make him feel comfortable and calm I told him that she will definitely sleep because she is well fed, her diaper is freshly changed after her recent warm bath. I consoled him saying that she will sleep well. You just need to rock her to sleep. Rest assured I left him with the baby and I was busy calming and soothing my eldest. Shortly after me and my daughter fell fast asleep.
Sunrays hit the curtains and light falls in our room. Checked the clock and it is 6.30am. But I can hear voices outside the room in the hall…… Confused, I peek out to have a look. Why is it so eerie? Only one voice?
My eyes scan wide across the hall AND I had to hold my laugh! (So that my eldest won’t wake up). The scene is as described: my husband is sleeping (snoring) on the sofa. My baby is arrested between the sofa and my hubby. However since she has no toys beside her, her toy is her father’s face!!!! She is learning the contours of his face! She is poking his eyelids. Plucking his eyelashes (Ouch!) Grabbing his nose. Slapping his cheeks. Biting his chin. She is the one talking alone and trying to wake her father up…
I wake him up and ask “Why are you sleeping here?” He replied “Because of the lighthouse!!” I couldn’t get what he is saying and thought he is still sleepyhead and I asked “Didn’t you sleep well?”. He said ” No! I didn’t sleep well because of the lighthouse!!
I started getting annoyed. OK.  What is this lighthouse??????

His version of the story:
He said your baby ( ya! when it comes to naughtiness it is my baby) was awake all night. I tried to get her to sleep but she doesn’t want to sleep. I kept my eyes closed and held her to my chest and started humming. She struggles a lot to look at my face. Now she pushes herself a little bit up aligning her face with mine. I keep my eyes closed. But I can sense her. I kept my eyes a slit open. Since the room is dark she is not able to understand whether my eyes are open or not. So she tries to zoom in and comes very close and look innocently. I am trying really hard to hold my laugh. Then she scans each eye. Slowly. She looks at my left eye. She gets confused. She looks at me again. Then she checks my right eye. Still not able to understand. Just the way lighthouse scans across with lights. Finally she poked my eyes. And everything went from quiet, dark, bored to noisy, loud laughter!.. We were awake all night because she was like a lighthouse scanning for open eyes.. lol..
He promised he will never ask to take care of eldest at night. And I sure he will never say it is easy to take care of her! Isn’t my baby cute to do that! Ha ha ha…..Love my lighthouse baby to bits!!!HUGS!

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Diastasis Recti-Part 1

mommy-tummyDiastasis recti – in terms of obesity and pregnancy
        Definition
Diastasis Recti is commonly defined as a medical condition of a gap of roughly 2.7 cm or greater between the two sides of the rectus abdominis muscle. In layman terms, your belly sticks out because the space between your left and right belly muscles has widened, as shown in the figure below. And through this space protrudes your internal organs pushing at the thin connective tissue connecting between those abs. This is obvious when you stand and this protrusion goes down when you lie down. You might call it as a “pooch/ shelf/ mummy tummy”. I am sure most women reading this article has ended up here because you think you have that mummy tummy.

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          The full picture
Your internal organs like the small and large intestine, stomach, liver, pancreas etc, are supported well behind the strong abdominal muscle called rectus abdominus. This abdominal muscle is not a single muscle, but it is made of two longitudinal muscles running from rib cage to your pelvic floor. And there is a connective tissue that connects between these two ab muscles. So actually you really have a gap between those two muscles. But held very tight and secure by the connective tissue.

         What happens to those muscles to widen that tight secure gap??
I will focus on obesity and pregnancy related widened gap here.

   Obesity: People who eat more junk, high-fat, processed food or because of their lifestyle, tends to gain weight and ultimately, the fat deposits around the organs and overall body fat increases. This results in added pressure to the abdominal rectus muscles and these muscles slowly start moving apart to give way and space for the added mass. So the organs start to put on their weight on poor connective tissue.

     Pregnancy: Pregnancy with a heavy baby or being pregnant successive years can lead to this condition very easily. In fact, two-third of the pregnant women has it at the time of pregnancy to accommodate the growing baby. The most obvious symptoms that you have diastasis recti while you are pregnant include:
1. When you arch your back, your abdomen takes a cone shape,
2. You have severe SPD (symphysis pubic dysfunction). You suffer the most painful pelvic pain wherein you cannot sit, get up from a place, get out of your bed, etc.,
 3. You have an outie belly button way too early.
Generally these muscles should get back into their place in 6 weeks time post delivery. If it doesn’t, you end up with mummy tummy, chronic back pain and eventually hernia, which can be an umbilical or a ventral one. Either way it needs surgical correction if you end up with hernia. Also it is pretty useless to go for a surgery if you plan to have more babies.
              How to diagnose whether you have diastasis?
First and foremost, see your general practitioner and confirm it. Explain how you feel about your stomach. Much better see a general surgeon who will physically examine you and give a better diagnosis.
Or you can do a self test by clicking any of the links below:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ySBaouIVjEE

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uzIrt82maws
If you can afford to get a CT scan of your abdomen, you will get a very clear picture and get focused on how to start to get your diastasis improved.

              How severe is your diastasis recti?
While doing the self test to check how many fingers go between your right and left muscle to determine the severity, it is not only the horizontal separation you measure but also the vertical separation too. A gap of 1 to 3 finger widths is fine and can be corrected quickly and strengthen it. A gap more than 4 fingers needs lots of activating those sleeping muscles. Mine was 8 finger separation up and down. Now it is down to 4 finger separation just by following the do’s and don’ts given below and the six basic exercises of Tupler technique.
              What options do you have to correct your diastasis??

 Separation consisting of a width of 2 fingertips (approximately 1.5 cms) or more is the determining factor for diagnosing diastasis recti.
             SURGERY!! The only solution says doctors. Lets challenge them! Most of them say you can do nothing about it, but time and again many prove them wrong.
My simple logic is: your body underwent a change to accomodate your excess fat or a growing baby. So obviously if u work a little hard to reverse it, you can do it. Those muscles need a little training to work and come together.

       I know the post is getting long but bear with me.
So, you have checked whether you have diastasis of rectus muscles. You are lucky if you don’t have it. But if you found out you have it. Don’t worry. We will sort it out. Let us get into the DO ‘s and DON’Ts of having this condition:
    1. Always pull in your abs and walk straight. The more you slope and walk the more pressure are on those weak abdominals. But it is not simply sucking in your abs.

        Inhale and exhale, when you exhale pull in your stomach and that should be the right position and correct muscles pulled in. Practice breathing in and out in this tight position.

     2. The same goes for when you sit. Sit straight. Hold in your abdominals.
   3. WHENEVER you lift anything, always pull in your abdominal muscles first and then lift. Even when you lift baby in and out of crib, pull up those abdominals.
   4. When you bend down, bend with your knees bent.
   5. When you get out of the bed roll over to one side and get up. No straight-up positions please!!
   6. While you exercise, avoid ANY kind of crunches, oblique twists, pilates, twisting backwards, etc.
    7. Don’t carry baby on your hip. Hold your muscles in. Lift and handle them on you chest. A big NO to baby on your hips.
   8. Stay away from baby carriers. Your abdomen cannot just take that pressure. Say bye bye to it or ask your partner to carry baby.
    9. Last and most important point, do this in your everyday life till you get the muscles in place. Yes, you will forget but whenever you remember do it. I used to remember like once in a week. Gradually in 2 months time that became my routine.
First get the do’s and don’ts right ladies! 🙂
Don’t think this is simple task or it is not working just because you are not breaking any sweat. You are actually trying to build and strengthen your connective tissue here. You are improving blood supply to the the thin tissue. Though you don’t visually see it or feel it, you are bringing a change in your muscles. Slowly and steadily. You are nourishing that tissue again and helping it to gain strength.
The change you can see here is a major change in your middle to lower back pain/ pelvic pain. I used to feel severe back pain but after being consistent in doing the above my back pain was less. Good news here! Meaning you are regaining that strength.

            The few basic exercises, well, it is only 6 of them though they look really simple once you try it, you will understand the depth of the effect on those core muscles. The more difficult you feel to do them indicates the weaker your muscles are.  The following exercises are by Julie Tupler:

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         You can gradually start with first two exercises with less counts and then gradually build up to doing them completely and three sets a day. Then get along with the other exercises and do them three sets over four days of the week. Now that’s it. You are now aware of WHY you have the pooch. So read more, educate yourself more on this and get rid of it.

          Best of luck with the do’s and don’ts as well as the 6 exercises. You will feel the difference if you follow them. Let us get your flat abs back. And let us make people from stopping to comment or ask “Are you pregnant again?”.

          In the part-2 I will discuss various techniques and available online tools for helping correct diastasis recti developed by many people who specializes in this field.

     Any queries please drop in a comment and I will get back to you with the best answer. As you finish reading this, if you feel there are many more people/women unaware of this condition, kindly share it and let others know. Spread the awareness like I did!!!! 🙂 🙂 🙂

Different layers of an amazing working mom!!

working-momsWORKING MOM…
What the world see in a working mom: A strong and confident lady, wearing freshly pressed clothes, nude makeup, up-do hair, stiletto heels/classy shoes and a bag of files, head held high, shoulders straight, coffee mug in hand and walking with high self-confidence and attitude. The way she walks and talks is full of class and with an air of elegance. The way she composes herself makes any stay-at-home mom jealous and men think that she is a bold and strong woman!

The reality: what no one sees and will never accept! Let us get into the dirty facts now. Bear with me please!
Being a mother and working to meet her family needs, her responsibilities as a mother is always never-ending, in fact it is a cycle of events where one leads to another. The husband usually comes from work and start ordering “Give me this“, “Give me that“, “I had a long day“, “I am having headache“, etc. However, of course the wife who had a great day at workplace because he thinks she is enjoying and having coffee with her colleagues (Most men think that women are only capable of such activities, they can’t visualize their wife attending or leading meetings. Hurts their three-letter friend called E.G.O I guess) thinks she can do everything.
If the husband helps out in one of the household chores, they are tired to bones, even if it is laundry which is done by machine! So what about us? We cook our food, babies food, wash dishes, clean rooms and kitchens, organize stuff, plan appointments, give bath and food to baby and still they ask the most ANNOYING question which qualifies for a kick-on-their-lazy-butt : “What did you do?” or “What were you doing all this time?”. Again E.G.O talking in their head!
So of course we can’t leave the babies alone at home while we go to work and help husband meet our family needs. So sending kids to babysitter becomes the only option unless you can afford a maid or have parents at home. The husband who already feels he is not doing much tries to pick on his wife to make her guilty and mostly useless. They start by saying baby is not in good hands or they might even go the extent of saying that they are allowing us to send kids to babysitter just because the wife wants to work. Well most women wouldn’t go for a job if THEY themselves were in good hands. So why blame them? Man should understand that his wife works for the best of the family and so does he. The aim is the same and a joint one, then why act against it.Working-Mother-494x328
When they see that their wife is handling a lot by managing a job; fulfilling hubby’s demands; taking care of kids and running a home; men get very very insecure (because they realize that they aren’t  doing as much we are doing, in fact, they don’t even meet one-third of the needs!). So to get rid of that feeling they try to make their wife insecure by insulting her or by saying that she is not a good wife and good mother. I would say to all women out there, If you ever hear that you are not a good wife or mother, give him a tight slap so he wakes up from this deep slumber and be sure he thinks straight before he questions your responsibilities ever again. And the men out there if you ever feel your wife is not doing enough, for one day do ALL the chores she does and I bet you will never question her your whole life, try it today itself! I am serious guys: Step in our shoes once and you will never step in again because it is way beyond what you think!

             Now for the concerned relatives with the following statements :
Oh poor baby
Oh the baby is weak and sad
Oh your hubby lost weight
Anyone who starts with this needs another kick from us moms! Really!! Oh how much I would love to really kick them. Kick. Kick. And kick! I am sure all working mothers out there would join me in the kickathon!!

        My questions to these relatives are:
1. Will you provide for my baby and baby stuff?
2. Babies come in different shades, colors, behaviors, races, attitudes, looks, so what if my baby is lean, fair, or whatever?
3. Just like we have different moods in a day why can’t a baby look sad or maybe my baby is sad seeing your face?
4. Hubby is weak because of what? Is he breastfeeding? Is he physically doing the chores i do? Was he ever pregnant? Did he ever deliver a baby?
5. Lastly do you see only the baby and the husband, what about me? Am I invisible? You don’t ask why I am lean? You don’t ask why I am sad. You don’t ask how my job is?
Very oddly these very relatives have their own daughter/daughter-in-law who works leaving their kids behind and coming home for weekends only. Some do night shift. Some leave their child with grandparents and work in another state. So my dear relatives why is my baby so special to you? Especially when I am away for 10 hours a day only compared to what your own kids do to their own kids!!!
Facebook, twitter or whatsapp, all your friends want to know ‘oh the poor baby is in daycare‘. Even if the mom brushes it off the first time, the questions are repeated almost daily. Annoying isn’t it? So my dear friends, why don’t you come over and babysit my baby. I am looking for someone more trustworthy like my friends who can home and take care of babies rather than sending them to a  babysitter. Pick their pee and poo, spilled food, screaming and screeching? I will pay you handsome money, just do it. And later you will only ask about my well-being and job. Or I can give you a better option. I need money and stuff for my kids can you please send it to my account and address whatever I need??

mother talking on a mobile phone while cooking with her daughter

           Has anyone wondered the struggle a new mom or a working mom of newborn and toddlers go through? I mean those moms who are having two kids under two years like me and several others, till the babies learn to effectively communicate life is all about a big puzzle to understand which cry is for what need!!!!

           1. Do the so-called well-wishers see the sleepless nights a mom goes through all the while where the hubby snores away or goes into another room and sleep? And yet she wakes up as usual and puts on makeup to hide her sleepy eyes and exhausted face!
2. Does anyone see that she wants to provide her kids with stuff so she doesn’t think twice that they are on single income? Don’t mistake her dress for her lavish life, that dress might be bought years before birth of her kids, her money is all over on her kids!
3. Does anyone see the multi-tasking power of doing laundry, cooking and cleaning at one go? Those legs that walk with confident stride are tired from all this!
4. Does anyone see the way how she juggles between her home, job and run errands in such a way to get more time with kids? Those shoulders that are held high are shoulders full of responsibility as a mom, wife and daughter-in-law. She forgets that she is living and breathing too!
5. Does anyone see the heart full of pain for being alone and having no support from her husband or in-laws to help her get through this testing and tough phase? It is covered up in her clothes that show the outer mask of a content and happy lovely life!
6. Does anyone see her mind that is busy planning, multi-tasking, executing and making marriage-parenthood work which is more or less one-man show now? That brain power is hidden in that luscious lock of hair updo!
7. Does anyone see the hardship of keeping her kids happy, husband happy and satisfied and a neat organized home. Still that hardship is hidden behind that beautiful confident smile which makes anyone envy thinking she is leading a very luxurious life!

 And this lovely working mother still  holds her head high because she is worth it more than anyone can value. Though she is not aware, SHE IS WORTH IT!!!!

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